Those little white lies

As the warm Summer weather does not support highly analytical and effective brain work, I wanted to write about something less serious. Little white lies it is. I was born and raised in a country where honesty and trustworthiness are highly valued virtues. Of course, as a kid you came up with a little white lies after you had broken the rules, just to avoid nagging and humiliation. Oh how difficult it was to admit to have done something wrong. As I grew up I realised that in most cases it is easier and less embarrassing just to admit you had done something wrong and make up your mistakes.

It was a great astonishment to notice how Chinese people come up with such white lies as I did when I was a kid. I give you a few examples.

1. You ask for the road in Chinese. The person you ask does not have any clue which way you should go to. The reply normally is either ”wo bu shuo yingwen” – I don’t speak English – or the person guides you to go to a totally wrong direction. Both replies are to avoid admitting that the person does not know the correct route.
2. Taxi driver has no idea where to go. He drives anyway. He might stop and ask for the directions from local people but he would not admit you that he does not know the route.  Once friends of my Chinese friend  were in a taxi but the driver had no clue which way to drive to. My Chinese friend tried to guide the driver over the phone telling which directions to go to. The driver got frustrated and said that it is so foggy that he cannot navigate because he cannot see the stars. Actually, this probably was true knowing how many farmers are driving taxis in Beijing nowadays.
3. A Chinese couple had come to visit their daughter in Finland. They rented a car so that they can explore the country of thousands of lakes. However, the police caught them up for speeding. The police asked the monthly income of the couple. In China, if you are rich or belong to higher mid-class you may get a little benefits by police, such as no ticket at all. So the couple said they earn very high income. Unfortunately, in Finland the tickets are written based on the cumulative system. Less you earn, less you pay and other way round… The couple came crying to the embassy when they had to pay the fine. What could you say; the truth would have been enough.
4. When I was working at the embassy of Finland in Beijing, I was also checking out the authenticity and veracity of the visa application documents. In Schengen countries they have a strict rule that all the provided information must be correct in order to receive a Schengen visa. Finland followed this rule very carefully. However, we continuously received applications where housewifes were nominated administration managers and farmers general directors. The companies where they were supposed to work did not even know these persons by names. Again, the visas would have been granted if they just told the truth and not tried to name ”better” positions.
5. One of the phrases in Chinese that I hate the most is ”Cha bu duo” – not lacking much. My little tailor had his own mind and vision. Each time I would draw him pictures and explain how I want my dress cut, buttons done, jacket sewed and each time he would come up with something totally different. His explanation sometimes was that his version was much more beautiful than mine would have been. Or he could just say – cha bu duo. I always told him ”cha bu duo” is not enough and I want my version. He just couldn’t tell me in the beginning that maybe the material is probably not enough or he couldn’t do the right button shape or cutting.

Most of the little white lies are normally explained by the fear of losing face. I don’t get it. Don’t you lose your face by directing a person to walk wrong way, getting high fine by lying your salary or not gaining your visa by giving wrong information? And is cha bu duo enough if you want the exact product? My sense of righteousness is telling me, maintain your face and tell the truth.

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